Sunday, December 2, 2012

Hope vs. Acceptance


  [hohp]  Show IPA noun, verb, hoped, hop·ing.
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.

Hope is a juxtaposition.  In one way it pulls us, creates an air of promise that will get us over hurdles and around obstacles. In another vein, hope sets-up expectations...and expectations are never good because events and people can never be controlled and are constantly changing. So, I'm learning, through tough life lessons, to constrain hope to only those things that are within me and letting everything else fall or fly where they may.

Acceptance, is not a juxtaposition, it is singular and controlled solely within ourselves.  And while not the polar opposite of hope, acceptance carries with it peace. I'm getting better at accepting people, not hoping for or expecting people. Not that there are a lot that I've accepted - just a few people I let close-in, whom I've accepted with no limitations.  There's an enormous amount of freedom in that choice.  You see, no matter whether or not my expectations get "out of whack"...which they do from time to time, I always come back to the knowledge of who this and that person is to me. That choice does not change.

So hope is good...but acceptance is better.


  1. I find hope for the future is very difficult to have- I can't see anything positive in the future (like , in 12 months time). As for acceptance, I can accept most people, even if that means cutting off contact with them because their behaviour bothers me- they obviously see a reason for their own behaviour, so I'll let them get on with it while I'm not within cooee! However, I am finding it almost impossible to accept my current circumstances- I can't quite believe where I've landed and I can't see going on like this- there seems no hope of me accepting a future like the present. There's a quandary!

  2. Hi Kay :-) I'm sorry you're feeling so low. For me, I must accept where I am now, in the moment. Not acquiescing to this place forever - but knowing where where I am now.This is essential to finding out how to get to where I need to be.

    We are... where we are, not where we see ourselves being. And that's where I struggle - I see where I want to be and then forget where I am! LOL. That's a trap because I must move from where I am NOW, otherwise I don't see the potholes and walls, and rivers...the hindrances (and growth opportunities) along the path.

    Some days I struggle each and every moment. But it's getting better and I'm a happier person because of it.

  3. Now it's nearly 12 months since I commented last year and I have a vaguely positive view of the future in spite of my recent unexpected emotional upheaval. The low feelings bothered me over our local winter but having both a psychiatrist and a psychologist help me was very beneficial. When my recent hiccup hit me out of nowhere I DIDN'T drive at any large trees, although I was well along the way with my plan to run away physically! Regaining control of the rollercoaster on the downward plunge with the Vitamin D has made me feel quite victorious because I've never stopped such a steep plunge before without becoming ill. So hopefully both of us have more hope AND acceptance, here at the end of 2013. It seems fortunate that you have some employment to inject structure and at least financial hope into your NOW so there is the foundation for building a positive future. Well done both of us!